Down South

I just recently took a trip to Northeast Louisiana and boy did I see some sights. It's been a couple of years since I've journeyed to the real South and it was almost like culture shock. I guess I've spent too long in the big city of Biloxi/Gulfport MS, but damn if things didn't seem a bit strange.

I can't remember this part of the state being that flat. You could see for 20 miles in all directions, if you were standing on the roof your car of course. I can still remember as a kid watching the tornadoes frolicking across the cotton fields. Taking out a lone trailer or two on the way. Mosquitoes were the size of Black Hawk helicopters and there was a lot of pissed off snakes. I had a rule while growing up, it was almost like scripture; "Thou shalt not suffer a snake to live." I would cross the median and two lanes of traffic to run over a snake. I'd usually miss the snake and end up pissing off some fellow drivers, must I think most of them understood.

I saw a sign pronouncing a new sub-division, but all that was there were a couple of 15 - 20 year old trailers (where there are two trailers gathered together, it shall be called a sub-division.)

For years now I've seen signs boasting about a different groups who have adopted the highway. They don't do that in Louisiana, they adopt a road. I know it's the same thing, but it just sounded strange to me. They name their roads funny too. There was one that was named "Cock Road." I don't know about you, but that kinda gets me to thinking. Was this road built for or by roosters, or is named for some lucky farmhand who lived at the end of it? I don't know, I'm just askin'.

Is there a law in Louisiana that every house must have at least one car that doesn't run or on blocks? I keep this little tradition alive at my house still today. Never forget your heritage.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not a requirement for every trailer in Louisiana to have pink flamingos on their front lawn. It's just that white trash have poor taste and love pink flamingos.

My brother took me to a Mexican Restaurant in Lake Providence, and it amazed me that these were the only Hispanic people I saw while I was in NE Louisiana.

Now, I'm not knocking Christians or any one's faith, so don't go grab your pitchforks and torches. OK? But why does a town of 500 people need six churches? If I remember correctly, isn't there just one God? I'd see a line of one-room shotgun houses, some even made of plywood, and right next to them would be a beautiful brick church with stain-glass windows and its' very own fountain in front. The parking lot was paved and the grass was maintained better than the golf course at Augusta. Most of the country is in a recession, but the churches seem to be doing fine.

I saw yards with crosses and signs pronouncing their faith and of all things, I saw a Jesus Flag. You heard me right, a Jesus Flag. It was on a proper flag pole and was even set up with lights to shine on it at night. Boy, the people here sure do love their Jesus. I suppose that flag pole used to have a Dale Earnhardt #3 flag flying there, but since he passed-on, there's no other driver worth braggin' about.

D.